Life Update: Learning to be Happy

There was a time when I can honestly say I very much disliked myself.

I know that is a bit of a strange thing to proclaim but it is the honest truth. I used to look in the mirror and I often feel disgust at the person looking back at me. My confidence had plummeted so low that I couldn't even bring myself to try and get over that slump. The future definitely looked bleak and I had no energy to do the things that I usually love.

It amazes me that simply changing certain things in your life can have such an impact. Starting a diet made me realise that I could make myself learn to love the person in the mirror, now when I look at myself, I feel nothing but pride. I feel proud that I have lost weight and that the way I look now is down to some serious hard work. It is the little things like I now fit in size 8 clothes that have made me so ridiculously happy that I dare to say I'm almost a bit giddy.

Getting a job made me a much happier person, I found that I had a reason to get up and smile at people and actually do things. It has also made me consider things about my future, where I see myself going in life. I've actually started considering doing a Masters, after abandoning the thought entirely. Although, my future is a little uncertain, I'm so much more relaxed about having the option to do multiple things and go down different routes.

I have turned into an absolute baking fiend, seriously just pop by my Instagram, it seems to be constantly filled with food these days. I have become absolutely obsessed with exploring how to make different things and perfecting recipes. I've also started baking a lot of gluten free treats such as my Salted Caramel Brownies because my mama and grandmother are both gluten intolerant. Now when they get to have cakes, brownies and all forms of sugary goodness and are so happy, it makes me ridiculously happy inside. Baking has become a way for me to put a smile on people's faces and gives me a little happy boost when I realise that I've come a very long way from when I first made a cake on my own about 3 years.

That goes the same for cooking. I never realised how much cooking makes me happy, I spend so much time in the kitchen these days. Maybe I am artistically arranging salads just for me but I seem to enjoy food so much more these days, so taking the time to really put some love into making my food means that I savour every mouthful and hey, I don't think there's anything wrong with that at all.

I actually enjoy going to the gym and yes, I actually wrote that! Seeing my fitness levels steadily improving and seeing the improvements on my muscles make me so proud of myself. Considering that exercise has always been a bit of a chore and I now see it as something that gives me purpose and something I genuinely enjoy doing.

All in all, the last three months have been such a transformation process, not only physically but mentally. I am the happiest I have ever been and mentally, I feel completely at peace. I'm also the healthiest I have ever been and feel well and have bundles of energy, I'm also sleeping better which is a total change for me as usually I suffer with a lot of sleepless nights. I feel like I've become a better person and my confidence levels are high, I am definitely walking taller and keeping my head held high.

It took hitting rock bottom to realise that the only way I could make myself be happy is to change my life and I have learnt things that will forever change my life, the way I look at things and most importantly, I have learned to love myself.