Quinn's Chats: Post Grad Problems

I am a planner.
 

For the last ten years, there has always been The Plan. I did my GCSEs, I took my A-Levels, I got into University and then I got my degree.

Now as I sit here typing this post, which I have actually rewrote about three times now, I keep asking myself the same question; Now what?

For the first time in ten years, I do not have a plan and that absolutely terrifies me.

Sure, I know what I want to do with my life, who doesn't have ambitions? The actual execution of my ambitions is most definitely not going according to plan.

I have edited and re-edited my CV, I have wrote so many covering letters that I have genuinely lost count and job applications and emails about job applications have become a very long blur.

I have always been taught that success is earned. I am not one of those lucky people who have things fall into their laps, I am not the most intelligent graduate of the bunch and I am not the most experienced either. I am however incredibly hard working and when I put my mind to things, I get it done; no matter how much sleep I lose, tears I cry or times I scream into a pillow and throw things across a room.

I think every graduate could relate to the screaming and the throwing of things.

Although, I feel like I'm partly paralysed with fear over my future, I often am overcome with a sense of total serenity.

For the first time in ten years, I do not have a plan and actually, it isn't so bad.

Alongside job applications, my days are filled with writing, editing, reading, a DIY project, cooking, baking, Netflixing and chatting to wonderful and talented people across the world. 

I am learning more about myself and who I am, I am accepting choices that I have made and actions that I have took. I am also working as hard as I did when I was studying and I am enjoying it immensely.

Do not get me wrong, I have definitely cried a fair few times over the last month because job rejections are not exactly the confidence boosting thing. They are however a constant reminder that you may not fit that job but you will find a job that fits you.

Life is full of surprises and I am not yet defeated by job rejections, in fact, they seem to spur me on more to keep trying and applying.

Things are just getting started and you know, I cannot wait to see where things take me.